Ranger Kids Komedy Korner

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"WANTED" We need your HELP in recruiting new boys for our fellow Ranger Kids members! You all know how fun & exciting it can be being a member of Royal Rangers. Now we need help spreading the word. Tell you fellow classmates & your neighbors. Let them know how much fun it is serving God & learning about all the things involved in the Ranger Kids program!
		This is a Family Safe Site! If you haven't ask Jesus into your heart as Savior and asked Him to forgive you of your sins, it is as simple as following these steps: 1) ADMIT YOU HAVE SINNED. "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23). 2) BELIEVE IN JESUS. "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life" (John 3:16). 3) CONFESS AND LEAVE YOUR SIN. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9) If you would like someone to pray with you about your decision to know Jesus as your personal Savior, talk with your Royal Ranger commander, your pastor, or call: 1-800-4PRAYER, the National Prayer Center. Ministry logos, product images and service names are trademarked by The General Council of the Assemblies of God and administered by Gospel Publishing House. Use of these images and trademarks without written authorization is forbidden and will be in violation of applicable Federal and International laws. ** Royal Ranger Emblem ® 1976 by The General Council of the Assemblies of God; Springfield, Missouri 65802-1894. The Royal Ranger Emblem may not be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronically, mechanically, photocopies, recording, or otherwise—without prior written permission from the national Royal Rangers Ministries.
	More fun stuff! jokes: Q. What did the pencil say to the paper? A. I Dot my I on you! Q. Why did the hen cross the road? A. To prove she wasn't chicken! Q. What do computer operators eat for lunch? A. Chips! Q. Where do rabbits learn to fly? A. In the Hare Force! Q. Why was the broom late? A. It over swept! What you never saw a HAM Radio? Q. What runs but never walks? A. Water! Knock, knock. Who's there? Canoe. Canoe Who? Canoe help with my homework? Q. Why did the band stick together? A. Because it was a band-aid! Q. Why was the tree crying? A. Because it was a Weeping Willow! Q. What did the shovel say to the dirt? A. I dig you! Ignore him - he's just looking for attention. Q. Why couldn't the shoe talk? A. Cuz it's tongue tied! Knock, knock. Who's there? Iva. Iva who? Iva sore hand from knocking! Q. Why was the pig funny? A. Because he was a ham! Q. How can you communicate with a fish? A. Drop him a line! Q. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A. Nacho cheese! Are you o.k.? You look a little pail Q. What did the teddy bear say when he was offered desert? A. No thanks, I'm stuffed! Knock, knock. Who's there? Dozen. Dozen who? Dozen anybody want to let me in? Q. What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn't move? A. The road! Q. How do you make a bandstand? A. Take away their chairs! Q. Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab? A. The scientists were brainstorming! Q. What did the little mountain say to the big mountain? A. Hi Cliff! Q. What did Pooh say to his agent? A. Show me the honey! Q. Why couldn't the pirate play cards? A. Because he was sitting on the deck! Q. Why did the traffic light turn red? A. You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street! Q. What did one elevator say to the other elevator? A. I think I'm coming down with something! Q. What do lawyers wear to court? A. Lawsuits! Q. What breaks when you say it? A. Silence! Q. Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? A. Because then it would be a foot! Q. What has four wheels and flies? A. A garbage truck! Q. What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it? A. Post Office! Q. What did the blanket say to the bed? A. Don't worry, I've got you covered! Q. Why should you take a pencil to bed? A. To draw the curtains! Q. What turns everything around but does not move? A. A Mirror! Q. Why can't a man living in Australia be buried in America? A. Because he's still alive! Q. What is the easiest thing to part with? A. A comb! Q. What did one eye say to the other eye? A. There's something between you & me that really smells! Q. What is at the middle of the sea? A. The letter E! Q. What causes baldness? A. A lack of hair! Q. What do cow's like to sing? A. Mooo-sic! Q. When is a piece of wood like a king or queen? A. When it's a ruler! ELEPHANT STEW 1 Elephant 2 Rabbits (optional) 1/2 Pail Pepper 2 Pails Salt 4 Bushels Onions 93 1/2 Gal. Water 6 Pails Flour Cut Elephant into bite-size pieces. This should take about 4 months. Cook over kerosene fire for approx. 4 weeks or until tender. Add onions, cook until tender. This will feed about 3,000 hungry Ranger Kids. If more are expected, add the 2 rabbits. But do this only if necessary, as most people don't like hare in there stew. Q. What is so fragile even saying its name can break it? A. Silence Q. What can you put in a wood box that will make it lighter? A. Holes Q. What goes up but never goes down? A. Your age Q. What bow can't be tied? A. A rainbow! Q. What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? A. Every morning you'll rise and shine! Q. What does a teddy bear put in his house? A. Fur-niture! Q. What season is it when you are on a trampoline? A. Spring time Q. What happens to cows during an earthquake? A. They give milk shakes! trash can. Q. Where do cows go on holiday? A. Moo York Q. Where did the computer go to dance? A. To a disc-o. Q. What is the difference between a school teacher and a train? A. The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says "chew chew chew". Q. Why did the birdie go to the hospital? A. To get a tweetment. Q. What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa? A. A Clausterphobic Q. Did you hear the joke about the roof? A. Never mind, it's over your head! Q. What do you call a cow eating grass in a paddock? A. A lawn mooer Q. What washes up on very small beaches? A. Microwaves! Q. What gets bigger and bigger as you take more away from it? A. A hole! Q. What letters are not in the alphabet? A. The ones in the mail, of course! Q. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? A. Because it felt crummy. Q. How do you know carrots are good for your eyes? A. Because you never see rabbits wearing glasses! Q. What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A. A little horse Q. What do you call cheese that is not yours? A. Nacho Cheese Q. What is an astronaut's favorite place on a computer? A. The Space bar! Q. Why did the boy eat his homework? A. Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake! Q. Why is Basketball such a messy sport? A. Because you dribble on the floor! Q. What bow can't be tied? A. A rainbow! Q. What does a teddy bear put in his house? A. Fur-niture! Q. What season is it when you are on a trampoline? A. Spring time. Q. What happens to cows during an earthquake? A. They give milk shakes! Q. Where do cows go on holiday? A. Moo York Q. Where did the computer go to dance? A. To a disc-o. Q. What has one head, one foot and four legs? A. A Bed Q. Why did the birdie go to the hospital? A. To get a tweetment. Knock Knock Who's there? Abbott! Abbott who? Abbott time you answered the door! Q. Why did the man put his money in the freezer? A. He wanted cold hard cash! Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus? A. "Is that you mommy?" Q. What do you get from a pampered cow? A. Spoiled milk. Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll Q. Where do snowmen keep their money? A. In snow banks Q. What's brown and sticky? A. A stick Q. What dog keeps the best time? A. A watch dog Q. How do you make a tissue dance? A. Put a little boogey in it! Q. What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? A. Odor in the court Q. What did the water say to the boat? A. Nothing, it just waved Q. What has four legs but can't walk? A. A table! Q. Why did the turtle cross the road? A. To get to the Shell station! Q. What did the ground say to the earthquake? A. You crack me up! Q. What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? A. Milk and quackers! Q. Why did the elephant eat the candle? A. He wanted a light snack! Q. What has 4 eyes but no face? A. Mississippi! Q. What did the spider do on the computer? A. Made a website! Q. What letters are not in the alphabet? A. The ones in the mail, of course! Q. How many books can you put in an empty backpack? A. One! After that its not empty! Q. What kind of button won't unbutton? A. A bellybutton! Q. What did the penny say to the other penny? A. We make perfect cents. Q. Why did the robber take a bath? A. Because he wanted to make a clean getaway. Q. Why did the man with one hand cross the road? A. To get to the second hand shop. Q. Why did the picture go to jail? A. Because it was framed. Q. Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep? A. So he could have sweet dreams. Q. What are two things you cannot have for breakfast? A. Lunch and dinner. Q. Why is a baseball team similar to a muffin? A. They both depend on the batter. Q. What did the alien say to the garden? A. Take me to your weeder. Q. Have you heard the joke about the butter? A. I better not tell you, it might spread. Q. How do baseball players stay cool? A. Sit next to their fans. Q. What gets wetter the more it dries? A. A towel. Q. What do you call a bear with no socks on? A. Bare-foot. Q. What can you serve but never eat? A. A volleyball. Q. What did one teddy bear say to the other teddy bear when he offered him some dessert? A. No thank you, I am stuffed. Q. What kind of shoes do all spies wear? A. Sneakers. Q. What did one wall say to the other wall? A. I'll meet you at the corner.